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Emotional Education

We do fairly well educating the intellect (although some would even argue with that proposition). But we surely do not do well in educating our emotions. It is unfortunately true that many people are not emotionally skilled or informed; that many don't even know what they are feeling, or why they are feeling it, at any given time. If emotions are the mainspring of our behavior -- and I think they are -- then the more knowledge, familiarity and competence we have, the stronger, richer, and juicier and more satisfying our lives and well-being can be.

Daniel Goleman's work on Emotional Intelligence has been used to talk primarily about work and career success, an obvious but unfortunate focus. The concept of Emotional Intelligence applies to everything in our lives, including our relationships with ourselves. But his book was a breakthrough that dared to say out-loud maybe this was something to pay attention to.
It is.


The Art of Loving

by Erich Fromm

Highly recommended. This book has received consistent five-star recommendations from readers.

" Love in all its aspects is the subject of this work which has become a classic in its own time as the original "self-help" treatise from which developed new vistas of human understanding."

"This classic work has helped hundreds of thousands of readers develop their hidden capacities for love. "Penetrating insight . . . new vistas of understanding."--Cleveland Plain Dealer."

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The Emotional Hostage:
Rescuing Your Emotional Life


Leslie Cameron-Bandler & Michael Lebeau

One Amazon.com reader/reviewer calls it this book "the best I've ever read" on emotions. Feelings, and how to function with them and through them. Insights and practical suggestions abound.
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Emotional Intelligence

by Daniel P. Goleman

" In this fascinating book, based on brain and behavioral research, Daniel Goleman argues that our IQ-idolizing view of intelligence is far too narrow. Instead, Goleman makes the case for "emotional intelligence" being the strongest indicator of human success. He defines emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy, and the ability to love and be loved by friends, partners, and family members."

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Working with Emotional Intelligence

"This book explains what emotional intelligence is and why it counts more than IQ or expertise for excelling on the job. It details 12 personal competencies based on self-mastery (such as accurate self-assessment, self-control, initiative, and optimism) and 13 key relationship skills (such as service orientation, developing others, conflict management, and building bonds). Goleman includes many examples and anecdotes--from Fortune 500 companies to a nonprofit preschool--that show how these competencies lead to or thwart success."

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Learned Optimism

by Martin E. P. Seligman

"Martin Seligman, a renowned psychologist and clinical researcher, has been studying optimists and pessimists for 25 years. Pessimists believe that bad events are their fault, will last a long time, and undermine everything. They feel helpless and may sink into depression, which is epidemic today, especially among youths. Optimists, on the other hand, believe that defeat is a temporary setback or a challenge--it doesn't knock them down. "Pessimism is escapable," asserts Seligman, by learning a new set of cognitive skills that will enable you to take charge, resist depression, and make yourself feel better and accomplish more."

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Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow

by Judith Viorst

"The only book to examine loss as a necessary experience for personal growth, "Necessary Loss" takes readers through the typical moments of loss throughout life--from maternal separation to shifting friendships, from divorce to old age. First published in 1986, this life-affirming, life-changing, and timeless book is filled with wise and witty insights into how we all must adjust to the changes that are an inevitable part of life."

"a life-affirming and life-changing book."

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The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death Divorce, and Other Losses

by John W. James & Russell Friedman

"This book is required for all my classes. The more I use this book, the more I believe that unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people's lives. It is the only work of it's kind that I know of that outlines the problem and provides the solution."

Bernard McGrane, Ph.D.,
Professor of Sociology, ChapmanUniversity

"Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect onyour capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories, as well as from others, the authors illustrate what grief is and how it is possible to recover and regain energy and spontaneity."

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Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve

by Lewis B. Smedes

This book is about letting go of your pain.

"Lewis B. Smedes shows how to move from hurting and hating to healing and reconciliation. With the lessons of forgiveness, you can establish healthier relationships, reclaim the happiness that should be yours, and achieve lasting peace of mind."

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How to Survive the Loss of a Love

by Melba Colgrove, Harold H. Bloomfield, Peter McWilliams

"One of the most directly helpful books on the subject of loss ever written, the first edition of this comforting and inspiring book, published in 1976, sold nearly two million copies. This completely revised and expanded edition encompasses not only the medical and psychological advances in the treatment of loss, but also the authors' own experiences."


"Completely revised and expanded to nearly twice its original size: the 2-million-copy national bestseller that is one of the most directly helpful and inspirational books available on the subject of loss--either by death or divorce--and emotional recovery."

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Love

by Leo Buscaglia

An extremely popular, non-threatening book about one of our most important realities and feelings.

"This book is about love. What it is and what it isn't. It is about you--and about everybody who has ever reached out to touch the heart of another. Among many other lessons of the heart, Leo Buscaglia reminds us: Love is open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself."

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Feeling Good : The New Mood Therapy

by David D, MD Burns

This will not work for everyone (brain biochemistry is real), but it is powerful for some.

"The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be cured without drugs! Eminent psychiatrist, David D. Burns, M.D., outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.

"This national bestseller, reissued with a new Introduction from the author, presents a highly successful, clinically proven, drug-free treatment for depression. Recommended by mental health professionals to patients suffering from depression."

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Passion and Reason : Making Sense of Our Emotions

by Richard S. Lazarus and Bernice N. Lazarus

This eye-opening look at the emotions of everyday life is the first book to move beyond clinical jargon and popular psychology to really explain why people feel the way they do.

"The emotions--love, hate, fear, pride--endow life with its meaning and color, yet they can also confuse and disable us through their power and complexity. The authors (a distinguished husband-wife team) of this volume clarify the psychological significance of the emotions by classifying the families of emotions, good and bad, and then probing the internal structure of each. Culture and biology combine to produce and shape the emotions; however, their ultimate meaning depends heavily upon one's personal history and attitudes."

From Booklist , September 15, 1994

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David Viscott

The Language of Feelings

Currently not available. Try a used bookstore or the library.

An exploration of human feelings.


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Raising Your Emotional Intelligence:
A Practical Guide

"It's not just psychologists who believe that emotional savvy determines personal success far more than an IQ test. Even corporations are hiring consultants to boost employees' Emotional Quotient (EQ), since it's been shown to directly affect teamwork, confidence, and productivity. Emotions can be allies, explains Dr. Jeanne Segal, helping us form loving and meaningful relationships, while making us well-rounded and profoundly intelligent beings. If repressed, they can be our enemies, oppressing us like well-armored dictators. This is a simultaneously confrontational and supportive book--challenging our cultural assumptions about feelings while offering realistic steps and lifestyle suggestions that lead to a higher EQ"

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© 1997, C. Grigsby, All Rights Reserved. 3 June 1999

Comments? E-mail to: Channing