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Celebrate! Gentle encouragement to be good to yourself, based on another approach: the Trans-actional Analysis model of personality as made up of three major parts: Parent, Adult, and Child. The Parent has two components: the Nurturing Parent, who loves and supports, and the Critical Parent, who judges and punishes. The Child aspect also has two components: our Natural Child, who is free, expressive, and energetic, and our Not-O.K. Child, who is hurt and angry and "bad." Celebrate Yourself is easy to read and follow and it includes exercises and activities. It also has a spiritual dimension many newer self-esteem books lack. The dedication reads: Dedicated to your decision to let go of your negative conditioning and your choice to become one with the You that truly is. Dorothy Briggs also deals with the things that get us into trouble: our uses of language, our expectations, our roles, our judgements. She also deals with relationships with friends and lovers. An interesting feature is the Checklist of Basic Ideas in the back of the book--a useful sum-mary and kind of index. Needless to say, the Reading List is dated. CONTENTS Part I: THE PRISON 1. What's Here For You 2. Your Belief System About You 3. How You Got Where You Are Today 4. The Power of Not-OKness Part II: THE PATH TO FREEDOM 5. Watch Your Language 6. Expectations That Cause Pain 7. Other Painful Expectations 8. Judgment: the Dance of Death 9. Copied or Free 10. Role or Real 11. A Friend for You 12. Making Coupleship Work 13. Issues in Coupling 14. Who You Truly Are Checklist of Basic Ideas Reading Guide Index

Dorothy Corkille Briggs Celebrate Yourself: Enhancing Your Own Self-Esteem Doubleday, 1977 (11/97) $10.36 List: $12.95 Save:$ 2.59 (20%)

from Chapter One: What's Here For You You will do unto others as you do unto yourself. If you drive yourself incessantly, you may be sure you'll push others relentlessly. If you constantly find fault with yourself, you will look for what's wrong in "them." We are told to "Love others as our-selves." Most of us do precisely that. We do not affirm ourselves and we bombard others with the same treatment. If you do not value your own Being, you cannot cherish others. Improving your relationship to yourself is where the action is. The treasure you seek lies within . . . . Self-love vs. conceit We commonly think of self-love as selfishness or conceit. We see it as bragging, thinking only of ourselves and putting our-selves above others.Yet the person who is out to grab everything for himself actually feels deprived. He feels unlucky and needs to hoard to erase his inner misfortune. He brags and cockwalks in a sad attempt to make himself feel better. The compliment he receives, however, seems beside the point an hour later because he does not say "Yes" to his own Being. The outer plus does not stick; the accumulations do not fill the inner void. If you live with quiet, deep gladness about your person, you don't need outer trappings or constant strokes to reassure yourself that you are OK. Yet because you affirm your worth and value, you let in outer affirmation when it comes. With a full "cupboard" you don't need to knock others down to get. You are in a far better position to share, reach out, give and receive. Remember, Conceit only masks lack of true self-love. Where the answer lies The alternative to inner unrest and unhappiness, the alternative to passing this on to the next generation then is to increase your own sense of worth . . . to free the Real You.

© 1997, C. Grigsby, All Rights Reserved. 2 Aug 1988

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