sanford: women & self-esteem

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Serious Gender Issues

  Women and Self-Esteem was one of the first books to address the issues that women experience with self-esteem and a sense of personal well-being. Some writers argue that the problem for women is especially acute. In 1990, a study by the American Association of University Women revealed that the self-esteem of many girls plummets by the age of thirteen.

  "...studies of women have repeatedly shown disturbing patterns: lack of self-esteem, an inability to feel powerful or in control of one's life, a vulnerability to depression, a tendency to see oneself as less talented, less able than one really is. The myriad studies that have been done over the years give the distinct impression of constriction, a crippling, a sense of being somehow not quite as good, not quite as able, not quite as bright, not quite as valuable as men.... (quoted from Beyond Sugar and Spice, in the Preface, p. xiii)"

  Sanford and Donovan see women's low self-esteem as resulting from nothing less than oppression, that many problems women experience can be directly traceable to that low self-esteem, a condition which in turn facilitates continued oppression, and that in order for women as a group to gain more place in the world, individual women must address the issue of low self-esteem.

  While this point of view may seem to be unnecessarily extreme, the bestseller of some years ago was called Women Who Love Too Much, not Men Who Love Too Much. Although some cultural expectations have shifted, the expectations of women are still curtailed, opportunities restricted, and women in their careers in the external world still encounter what is called "the glass ceiling" they cannot move through to the CEO's office. And while many work full-time jobs, they still tend to be the primary worker at home before eight A.M. and after five o'clock.

  It is hardly surprising that self-esteem might be a particular and complicated issue for women.

CONTENTS

Part One:
Making the Connections

Part Two:
Close to Home, Close to the Heart: Intimate Relationships and the Shaping of Self-Attitudes

Part Three:
Far from Home, Far from At Home: Women's Experiences in the Wider World

Part Four:
The High Costs of Low Self-Esteem

Linda T. Sanford & Mary Ellen Donovan:

Women & Self-Esteem

Viking, 1985.

11/97: $11.16

Linda Sanford is a psychotherapist.

Mary Ellen Donovan is a journalist and writer.

from Chapter Two:

Women and Self-Esteem: Six Common Problems

I'm a good woman -- so what?

Just as none of us came into this world already thinking of ourselves in a certain way, none of us learned to see and judge ourselves as we do in a vacuum. Rather, we learned to see ourselves and judge ourselves within the context of a culture that has always held females to be inherently one way (emotional, illogical, unmechanical, physically weak, etc.) and males to be inherently another way (tough, logical, mechanical, physically strong, etc.). Existing evidence indicates that perhaps as early as age one but no later than age three, children come to think of themselves not as persons but as males or females, and that from then on gender identity is the cornerstone of the self-concept. Once a child has become aware that "I am male" or "I am female," she quickly learns the culture's definitions of what it means to be male or female, and the rest of her beliefs about herself fall into line -- or out of line -- accordingly.

  The belief that there is one set of behavior and characteristics appropriate for and germane to males and another for females, has a limiting effect on members of both sexes; in assembling their self-concepts, neither girls nor boys have freedom to pick and choose from the complete pool of human behavior and characteristics. Overall, however, sex-role stereotypes are farm more limiting and debilitating to women than to men, for the realm of human experience and behavior that has been designated female is much more narrowly defined than the range that has been labeled male. Consider as an example the widely known Broverman study, in which seventy-nine mental health professionals were asked to describe the characteristics of a healthy adult, a healthy male, and a healthy female. In their compilation, they came up with thirty-seven healthy male attributes but only eleven healthy female attributes, and what was considered healthy in one sex was not considered healthy in the other. . . .

  To make matters worse, men and women in our culture are not just seen as inherently different; men are seen as inherently superior to women, and the traits commonly associated with males (e.g., rationality, independence, leadership ability) are the ones this culture values most; whereas the traits commonly associated with females (e.g., emotionality, sensitivity, cooperativeness) are those this culture values least.
(pp. 12-13)

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